A look over the past 6 months here at Tarique's Voice

Over the past year since I started Tariques-Voice, I have encountered many sleepless nights, tears, self-doubt and anger with the more intense research and stories that were shared with me.
I started this organization because of the torment that my son Tarique had endured over and over.  We all can remember the anger that spilled over into my heart when the straw broke the camel's back that one late fall night my son laid in agony and pain over some poor choices of others.  Can I state that it was a hate crime or that it was plain and simple an assault maybe so....but as a social worker and as a mom taking it from my own son Tarique's book I choose to use the words "Poor Choices".  There were so many ways that night could have lead us down many paths. My son was the one who said "let's forgive, move on and create a SAFE PLACE others can come and get help. Mom a place they can know that others share the same thoughts, feelings and desires to help another".  My GOD a child that has been through hell and back is stating FORGIVENESS.  Even after what came to light of all the things that happened to him he said MOM FORGIVE and EDUCATE.

I have taken this road all by myself over the months. We are a simple family, a family that works hard for every single cent that comes into this house.  But with any amazing grass roots movement sacrifice must come from some where. My family was willing to cut back on that family outing, new clothes or whatever it took to be able to support the needs of Tarique's Voice and getting the word out there.  I even took on a second job, my husband 3 just so we could keep this going.

With that being said we are averaging approximately 100 views of the website a week, over 1692 views of the blog and numerous emails of support and stories that individuals have wanted to share.  Now while that might not sound like many please keep in mind 1 "ONE" is to many.  NO child should ever feel alone, no child should ever feel the need to cut, to do drugs, to take pills, to think of ways to die, to think of ways to kill, join a gang, prostitute to belong and have a family. NO child should be less than that living the life of a child.......

So when you go out and start your day please think of that.
Thank you all for your support and guidance as we continue you this journey.

Summer time reach out

The summer is full of fun and exciting time for the kids who often in that last month of school count down the day on their calendar when they can escape those long hallways of dread.  But for some they know that the summer means long days of being alone with no one not even their parents who are often working long hours.
I saw this picture of a little girl and her dog along the water. It made me think of how some children only have that family dog, cat or even a pet fish to keep them company.  Some kids would rather be in those halls of "Dread" just so they had some sort of social action.  Not every one can afford the YMCA, summer camps or even transporation to a local playground.  Many won't go to a local playground out of fear that they might run into that one kid who just doesn't want them there.
Would it not be nice to have a "safe place" for them to go, hang out and speak to someone that is sharing the same feelings and desires as themselves?  A place they can go and participate in maybe Art class, gardening, yoga, cooking or other groups that they can just express themselves at the same time build on successful relationship skills, coping skills?  A place like no other that is for children that are bullied or want help for being a bully.  A place parents who can come together and have support groups.
During school if a kid is bullied they may or may not be able to go to their school counselor.  Studies show that many do not because they are afraid someone is going to see them doing it. And you know the old saying is: Snitches get stitches.  My goal is to have a "safe place" that kids can go and express themselves and participate in Mental Health programs to work on their inside feelings as well as assuring them that they are loved, people do care and they are worth something. Many do not feel that way.  Teachers don't always have time and if we can get the community involved this is going to make a huge difference.  Think about it.
If we dream it, it will happen I promise you.
It takes a Village to raise a child....

Oh the day just get's even better, maybe there is a little justice of hope

Oh the day just get's even better. So yesterday my husband and I decided to take a  little stroll through the downtown Perrysburg Farmer's Market. Nice little community event they have during the late spring, summer month's on Thursday from 3-8.  It is a lot of local vender's that come together to sell their produce and flowers or meals that they have produced.  At any rate, as my husband and I was getting out of the car there were a group of older individuals who were standing behind the car and one of the gentleman said BULLIES where are the bullies?  He asked me what Tarique's Voice was all about.  I went on to tell him who we were, how we came about and what Tarique's Voice meant to me and what my hopes and dreams for the organization were.  He went on to ask me if we had support groups for victims or parent's of victims and classes for the Bullies. Sort of how individuals are mandated to go to Domestic Violence classes or Parenting classes. I told him no because we are really on a shoe string and when I say shoe string I mean it budget. Everyone involved is volunteer's and some times it really is just a 1 woman show meaning just me.  My hopes were in the future to get this up and running because I really do believe it is needed. He asked me if we were registered with the state as a Non-Profit. I told him yes we are and he went on to tell me that once we are up and running full force let him know because he could refer a ton of folk this was a much needed services and gave me Kudo's for putting my heart into this.  This made me feel so good because there are times I just feel like I am a fish swimming against the current.  I see individuals starting companies, living their dreams and then there is me who struggles to make what is really needed to work. I feel as if I am David fighting Goliath and at times not getting any where in this never end fight.  This encounter with this group of individuals made me realize it is all worth it.  When I came to work and I see the pictures the kids from group drew for me and the links of knowledge they created after 8 weeks of group, I realize they did take in what I taught them and hopefully that little drop of knowledge is going to make some sort of difference in another life.  One day I will have some big-wig come to me and say "Hey I believe in you and I am going to invest in you" oh just one day that is going to happen but until then me and my shoe-string budget will keep plugging along beating the pavements and trying to make it happen.  Tarique's Voice will be something big I have to believe this.

Summer is here The year has went by so fast

Where oh where has the school year went?  This year for us personally has been a roller coaster of up and down's.  A majority of down's but we took them with stride and learned very valuable lessons from each one.  I have personally seen my son grow so much for his horrific experiences and with this I am able to hold my head up and actually sleep personally at night.  It show's me 2 things, 1 his self-esteem is climbing back up and , 2 I have not failed him as a parent.  Many times I would lay awake at night wishing that I could follow him around in school or better yet just put him in this little plastic bubble so no one could hurt him ever.  I only wanted him to see good things, experience the best things and always have a kind word come his way. But in reality is that true for anyone?  NO! 

While life is about learning hard lessons, bullies are in full force more than they ever were in my time or even just 10  year's ago.  It is crazy to think what these kids go through. I could not even begin to imagine or even think that I could survive in school as a teenage student because I am sure I would be one of those students shoved in the lockers, never picked for a game on the playground or maybe even sitting alone at the lunch table.  Times are tough and family life is not like it was before.

While I would love to believe that all families are tight like mine, or that most families value the dinner time to sit around the table and talk about (process) the day with each other.  But honestly who has time for that anymore? Most parent's are working 2 or more jobs just to keep a roof over their head and food in their bellies, this is just how the times are and it is really very sad.  I try my best to make sure that we have that dinner time if we have anything at all.  I tell  my kid's make no plans for Saturday because it is family reconnect day.  I say that as it is now 7 at night and I sit at work processing my late night Tuesday Anti-Bully group.

There is one thing that I have learned while teaching these groups that deep down these kids are all really good kids.  Most are from broken homes, not the best of role models or lacking role models.  They all are hungry for appreciation and attention.  They want a good feeling of self worth and they want to believe that one day they are going to be someone and really they will with the right guidance and assurance.  I look at these kids and I think "Please, please just remember 1 thing I taught you about respect, dignity and self worth, remember 1 thing I taught you about bullies and how to treat people the way you want to be treated."  While I know 99% of them do at the end of the 8 weeks they know there is someone who cares and believes in them and for them to look at me the last session and say Thank you for your kindness and thank you for believing in me makes my job oh so worth it.
I can only hope when they are faced with any of the situations I approached them with that they can take the tools I gave them and actually use them.
I was blessed for having those role models even though I was from a very poverty stricken area. I had  a mom who had an iron fist and a heart of gold. I had aunt's and uncles and extended family who taught me right from wrong. Most important in my time the neighborhood raised the children and you didn't forget it when the old woman down the street told you to do something you did it or your mom would find out about it and that was not a good thing.  You respected your classmates and  your teachers and in return you received the same.  Where did those times go and how can we get those back into our society.  This is my goal! 
Tarique has decided to join football, much to my worry.  He is just a wee little thing I think barely pushing 90 lbs at 5 foot 7 but he feels that this will be a way for him to belong.  He told me that football creates a brotherhood and he want's to be a part of that so I say CARRY ON! 

This year with all the heartache has created a wonderful Non-Profit organization that has had it's up and down's as well.  While running only on donations times have been tough and we have had to scale back only teaching those that I can directly get my hand's on at work.  This is a plus for working at a Mental Health Community Agency.  My goal has and always will be out in the community teaching the kids at the various schools and helping those that need the VOICE.  We are a small army but one that is willing to wade the storm no matter where it should be.  I see big things in the future for Tarique's Voice and I look forward to blogging more, getting the word out there more and really making a difference in our community.  With a small seed shall grow a large tree and we want to be that very TREE.  Please considering helping us out and making a small contribution to Tarique's Voice.org.  We are a registered Non-Profit organization with the state of Ohio and really could not keep doing the work we are doing with out your help.

Thank you for all your continued support.  Here is to a happy and healthy summer for all the kids.

Beth'a and all the staff at Tarique's Voice
www.tariques-voice.org

Will the Bully Behavior's Ever End?

When is this ever going to end?  When will society step up and say "You know what we are sick of this and enough is just enough!".
Yet sadly another local child has committed suicide because of a Cyber Bully.  While some may say was her problems so bad that she felt she must kill herself, she was popular had lot's of things going for her.  On the other hand how could we ever seriously question something like that?  The hurt and the loneliness these children have no matter what form of bullying they are getting is just so wrong on so many levels.  My son personally is just now finding his way out of the dark hole of being bullied for so much.  This was because of some great friends that have stood up and said we accept you for who you are.  Think about those kids who do not have that support, who feel so alone as if they had no one to turn to.  It should never be this way.  A child should never feel alone there should always be some sort of social support rather it be a teacher, parent a friend that they should be able to go to.
I do find it odd that the community only picks up and says OK this must stop while the fire is hot but when the light dims down a little and the dust begins to settle you hear nothing more about supporting the fight against bully behaviors.  Just this week I received at work this Bully seminar training for Social Workers out of the need for the past local tragedy.  My question is why do we have to wait for a child to die?  Why are we not doing something to prevent this before it happens.  Why  are we not trying to save our children and others before they pass away.  All these children's voices need to be heard and let's stop this.  Words matter, actions matter let's make it happen and not just say "Oh this is such a shame" yes it is a shame let's make it happen......

Summer is fast approaching

It has been some time since I have been able to blog but finally I have a quick second to throw some information out there.
Summer is fast approaching and the kiddo's will be out and about playing until dark. This is the time to really just sit down with the kids and let them know the right way to handle conflict if it should arise.  Today in my group at work I am focusing on Conflict and "Good & Bad" teasing.  We all know kids get playing in the summer and they often forget that a simple joke might just hurt another child's feelings.  So if you were looking for a time to have a chat about this then now is the perfect time to do so.

http://www.oregonfest.net/ 

We are also going to be sharing a booth with our friends from ASSE at the Oregon Fest which is held on May 18th so if you get a chance head out to see us. As always please continue to spread the word about Tarique's Voice and let's put a end to the bullies as we know them.

April is Autism Awareness Month

     It has been awhile since I have been able to blog for Tarique's Voice as much as I hate to say that!  Things for us have been rolling right along slowly but surely.  Numbers coming in for the website show about 10 visitors a day and we have been at a slow roll for new visitors on our Facebook page however we will continue to plug along and advocate.  On the bright side more and more folks locally are finding out about us and are interested in what Tarique's Voice has to offer.
     Starting this month we will be doing (4) 45 minute "bully educational"groups with the Zepf Center after school youth program.  After their educational group we will do a small survey and then follow up with the same groups at the end of their 8 week program.  I am so very excited about this and extremely grateful the Director has given us the opportunity to do this.  I have spent many hours looking at how mental health, school violence and bullies are linked together so this is a great opportunity for us to get in through the Mental Health doorways.  I look forward to being their point person when they are having issues with clients who have shown to either be a bully or a victim and providing education and support to those individuals.
     I am also excited with the possibility of getting Tarique's Voice into 2 local charter schools located in the Toledo area.  We are still working on this venture but it does look promising.  We have been asked to partner up with the local area representative for ASSE - International Foreign Exchange program, so the 3rd Sunday of May we will be sitting up a booth at the Oregon Fest located in Oregon, Ohio.  In May is also the area NAMI walk we are planning to hopefully get a team together and get out there and walk supporting NAMI and marketing Tarique's Voice at the same time.

Please feel free to contact us if you would like to help in any way is appreciated and a great donation write off for the end of the year, not to mention great.....

     We are hoping to receive enough donations to market Tarique's Voice further and getting the word out there.  As you know we do NOT charge the school's or any other organization that request our help a cent for us to come out and help.  We operate totally on donations and other support's.  Currently on our wish list we are looking for help to purchase a large back window decal that will cover the entire back portion of the car window.  Supplies such as paper, pens, coloring pencils, crayons, glue sticks, construction paper, small prizes such as "stickers, pencils".  We are also in need with help covering the day to day cost of running the website and the phone lines which is very minimal but still a cost we have to pay.