Oh the day just get's even better, maybe there is a little justice of hope

Oh the day just get's even better. So yesterday my husband and I decided to take a  little stroll through the downtown Perrysburg Farmer's Market. Nice little community event they have during the late spring, summer month's on Thursday from 3-8.  It is a lot of local vender's that come together to sell their produce and flowers or meals that they have produced.  At any rate, as my husband and I was getting out of the car there were a group of older individuals who were standing behind the car and one of the gentleman said BULLIES where are the bullies?  He asked me what Tarique's Voice was all about.  I went on to tell him who we were, how we came about and what Tarique's Voice meant to me and what my hopes and dreams for the organization were.  He went on to ask me if we had support groups for victims or parent's of victims and classes for the Bullies. Sort of how individuals are mandated to go to Domestic Violence classes or Parenting classes. I told him no because we are really on a shoe string and when I say shoe string I mean it budget. Everyone involved is volunteer's and some times it really is just a 1 woman show meaning just me.  My hopes were in the future to get this up and running because I really do believe it is needed. He asked me if we were registered with the state as a Non-Profit. I told him yes we are and he went on to tell me that once we are up and running full force let him know because he could refer a ton of folk this was a much needed services and gave me Kudo's for putting my heart into this.  This made me feel so good because there are times I just feel like I am a fish swimming against the current.  I see individuals starting companies, living their dreams and then there is me who struggles to make what is really needed to work. I feel as if I am David fighting Goliath and at times not getting any where in this never end fight.  This encounter with this group of individuals made me realize it is all worth it.  When I came to work and I see the pictures the kids from group drew for me and the links of knowledge they created after 8 weeks of group, I realize they did take in what I taught them and hopefully that little drop of knowledge is going to make some sort of difference in another life.  One day I will have some big-wig come to me and say "Hey I believe in you and I am going to invest in you" oh just one day that is going to happen but until then me and my shoe-string budget will keep plugging along beating the pavements and trying to make it happen.  Tarique's Voice will be something big I have to believe this.

Summer is here The year has went by so fast

Where oh where has the school year went?  This year for us personally has been a roller coaster of up and down's.  A majority of down's but we took them with stride and learned very valuable lessons from each one.  I have personally seen my son grow so much for his horrific experiences and with this I am able to hold my head up and actually sleep personally at night.  It show's me 2 things, 1 his self-esteem is climbing back up and , 2 I have not failed him as a parent.  Many times I would lay awake at night wishing that I could follow him around in school or better yet just put him in this little plastic bubble so no one could hurt him ever.  I only wanted him to see good things, experience the best things and always have a kind word come his way. But in reality is that true for anyone?  NO! 

While life is about learning hard lessons, bullies are in full force more than they ever were in my time or even just 10  year's ago.  It is crazy to think what these kids go through. I could not even begin to imagine or even think that I could survive in school as a teenage student because I am sure I would be one of those students shoved in the lockers, never picked for a game on the playground or maybe even sitting alone at the lunch table.  Times are tough and family life is not like it was before.

While I would love to believe that all families are tight like mine, or that most families value the dinner time to sit around the table and talk about (process) the day with each other.  But honestly who has time for that anymore? Most parent's are working 2 or more jobs just to keep a roof over their head and food in their bellies, this is just how the times are and it is really very sad.  I try my best to make sure that we have that dinner time if we have anything at all.  I tell  my kid's make no plans for Saturday because it is family reconnect day.  I say that as it is now 7 at night and I sit at work processing my late night Tuesday Anti-Bully group.

There is one thing that I have learned while teaching these groups that deep down these kids are all really good kids.  Most are from broken homes, not the best of role models or lacking role models.  They all are hungry for appreciation and attention.  They want a good feeling of self worth and they want to believe that one day they are going to be someone and really they will with the right guidance and assurance.  I look at these kids and I think "Please, please just remember 1 thing I taught you about respect, dignity and self worth, remember 1 thing I taught you about bullies and how to treat people the way you want to be treated."  While I know 99% of them do at the end of the 8 weeks they know there is someone who cares and believes in them and for them to look at me the last session and say Thank you for your kindness and thank you for believing in me makes my job oh so worth it.
I can only hope when they are faced with any of the situations I approached them with that they can take the tools I gave them and actually use them.
I was blessed for having those role models even though I was from a very poverty stricken area. I had  a mom who had an iron fist and a heart of gold. I had aunt's and uncles and extended family who taught me right from wrong. Most important in my time the neighborhood raised the children and you didn't forget it when the old woman down the street told you to do something you did it or your mom would find out about it and that was not a good thing.  You respected your classmates and  your teachers and in return you received the same.  Where did those times go and how can we get those back into our society.  This is my goal! 
Tarique has decided to join football, much to my worry.  He is just a wee little thing I think barely pushing 90 lbs at 5 foot 7 but he feels that this will be a way for him to belong.  He told me that football creates a brotherhood and he want's to be a part of that so I say CARRY ON! 

This year with all the heartache has created a wonderful Non-Profit organization that has had it's up and down's as well.  While running only on donations times have been tough and we have had to scale back only teaching those that I can directly get my hand's on at work.  This is a plus for working at a Mental Health Community Agency.  My goal has and always will be out in the community teaching the kids at the various schools and helping those that need the VOICE.  We are a small army but one that is willing to wade the storm no matter where it should be.  I see big things in the future for Tarique's Voice and I look forward to blogging more, getting the word out there more and really making a difference in our community.  With a small seed shall grow a large tree and we want to be that very TREE.  Please considering helping us out and making a small contribution to Tarique's Voice.org.  We are a registered Non-Profit organization with the state of Ohio and really could not keep doing the work we are doing with out your help.

Thank you for all your continued support.  Here is to a happy and healthy summer for all the kids.

Beth'a and all the staff at Tarique's Voice
www.tariques-voice.org

Will the Bully Behavior's Ever End?

When is this ever going to end?  When will society step up and say "You know what we are sick of this and enough is just enough!".
Yet sadly another local child has committed suicide because of a Cyber Bully.  While some may say was her problems so bad that she felt she must kill herself, she was popular had lot's of things going for her.  On the other hand how could we ever seriously question something like that?  The hurt and the loneliness these children have no matter what form of bullying they are getting is just so wrong on so many levels.  My son personally is just now finding his way out of the dark hole of being bullied for so much.  This was because of some great friends that have stood up and said we accept you for who you are.  Think about those kids who do not have that support, who feel so alone as if they had no one to turn to.  It should never be this way.  A child should never feel alone there should always be some sort of social support rather it be a teacher, parent a friend that they should be able to go to.
I do find it odd that the community only picks up and says OK this must stop while the fire is hot but when the light dims down a little and the dust begins to settle you hear nothing more about supporting the fight against bully behaviors.  Just this week I received at work this Bully seminar training for Social Workers out of the need for the past local tragedy.  My question is why do we have to wait for a child to die?  Why are we not doing something to prevent this before it happens.  Why  are we not trying to save our children and others before they pass away.  All these children's voices need to be heard and let's stop this.  Words matter, actions matter let's make it happen and not just say "Oh this is such a shame" yes it is a shame let's make it happen......

Summer is fast approaching

It has been some time since I have been able to blog but finally I have a quick second to throw some information out there.
Summer is fast approaching and the kiddo's will be out and about playing until dark. This is the time to really just sit down with the kids and let them know the right way to handle conflict if it should arise.  Today in my group at work I am focusing on Conflict and "Good & Bad" teasing.  We all know kids get playing in the summer and they often forget that a simple joke might just hurt another child's feelings.  So if you were looking for a time to have a chat about this then now is the perfect time to do so.

http://www.oregonfest.net/ 

We are also going to be sharing a booth with our friends from ASSE at the Oregon Fest which is held on May 18th so if you get a chance head out to see us. As always please continue to spread the word about Tarique's Voice and let's put a end to the bullies as we know them.

April is Autism Awareness Month

     It has been awhile since I have been able to blog for Tarique's Voice as much as I hate to say that!  Things for us have been rolling right along slowly but surely.  Numbers coming in for the website show about 10 visitors a day and we have been at a slow roll for new visitors on our Facebook page however we will continue to plug along and advocate.  On the bright side more and more folks locally are finding out about us and are interested in what Tarique's Voice has to offer.
     Starting this month we will be doing (4) 45 minute "bully educational"groups with the Zepf Center after school youth program.  After their educational group we will do a small survey and then follow up with the same groups at the end of their 8 week program.  I am so very excited about this and extremely grateful the Director has given us the opportunity to do this.  I have spent many hours looking at how mental health, school violence and bullies are linked together so this is a great opportunity for us to get in through the Mental Health doorways.  I look forward to being their point person when they are having issues with clients who have shown to either be a bully or a victim and providing education and support to those individuals.
     I am also excited with the possibility of getting Tarique's Voice into 2 local charter schools located in the Toledo area.  We are still working on this venture but it does look promising.  We have been asked to partner up with the local area representative for ASSE - International Foreign Exchange program, so the 3rd Sunday of May we will be sitting up a booth at the Oregon Fest located in Oregon, Ohio.  In May is also the area NAMI walk we are planning to hopefully get a team together and get out there and walk supporting NAMI and marketing Tarique's Voice at the same time.

Please feel free to contact us if you would like to help in any way is appreciated and a great donation write off for the end of the year, not to mention great.....

     We are hoping to receive enough donations to market Tarique's Voice further and getting the word out there.  As you know we do NOT charge the school's or any other organization that request our help a cent for us to come out and help.  We operate totally on donations and other support's.  Currently on our wish list we are looking for help to purchase a large back window decal that will cover the entire back portion of the car window.  Supplies such as paper, pens, coloring pencils, crayons, glue sticks, construction paper, small prizes such as "stickers, pencils".  We are also in need with help covering the day to day cost of running the website and the phone lines which is very minimal but still a cost we have to pay.

Threw my pitch now it is party time tomorrow

Well yesterday I had a meeting at the school for Tarique-Jabrielle and as always the team he work's with had their ducks in a row. I absolutely love his new case manager that was assigned to him because it feels as if she really does have his best interest at hand. It only made sense that she was assigned to him because he has like 3 classes with her.  At any rate I proudly wore Tariques-Voice arm bracelet's.  I threw it out there a few times during his meeting and then in the end had an in depth conversation about who Tariques-Voice is and what we were all about.  A few of the teacher's were very receptive to it and a few had the look on their face of wanting to be else where.  I see it this way at least I planted that seed.
There was one teacher however who was a little on the defensive side when I stated that Tarique and I was reading the book "Look me in the eye". She implied that it might be to Big of a book for his age.  I personally love the book, however with that being said it did make me think that maybe we should have a few more options when it comes to the book project.  His case manager at the end gave me a wonderful recommendation for a book to read so that will be my next project before I do recommend it.
The team is meeting again this Sunday to discuss upcoming projects, town hall meeting hopefully to spring out in April to kick off the month of Autism Awareness.

Tomorrow we celebrate our 4th child and her sweet 16.  There will be over 200 kids in attendance which I am super excited about. I am passing out bracelets, having an UpStander pledge for them to sign if they chose to do so and plugging Tariques-Voice right before the cake is served.  Yes I know, it is her sweet 16 but this is an audience that I can not pass up the opportunity to approach and announce the presence of Tariques-Voice in the Community.

This is a long over due party I think for just about everyone. The weather has been just horrible and it will be nice to eat, dance and laugh with the community.
Food is provided by our dear friend the amazing and talented Greg Ruffty and Extra Virgin Catering Company, Arab Food provided by Fettosh of Toledo, Sweets by Shatila Dearborn, Photo Booth by Toledo.Pix, DJ provided by DJOneTyme.  There has been so much put into this planning and the Hotel has been amazing with pulling together a team to make it happen the way we all had hoped it would.  So let's hope it goes without a hitch.

Upcoming Town Hall Meeting - Information to Come

          Town Hall Bully Meeting
It does take a "Whole Village" to raise a child and with that being said we want to hear what you have to say. We would like to have a town hall type meeting to see just what are your main concerns with the community, the schools and what can we do for you and your children?

Our main goal is to Educate, Support and Encourage those who are experiencing bully behaviors.  We want to be the voice for those who for whatever reason can not use their own voice.  Our organization would like to take this to a whole new level and advocate in our communities, schools free of charge.  Part of the barriers for the educational system is the cost.  Getting a variety of "Anti Bully" organizations into the schools is just to expensive and let's be honest where is the follow up? 

With Tarique's Voice we want to get into the school, show the kid's what impact Bully behaviors have on those who they target.  We then want to continue to follow up with particular kids who may have been identified as either Bullies or victims. Work with them in small groups such as a "Do you really know me" type of activity and continue to empower each one through out the entire year as needed to maintain them as anti-bully peers. The educational system is so overwhelmed with educating these kids, do they really have time to provide interventions like we can?  Can they afford to pay an additional counselor or a bully advocate to service these kids throughout the year on a large scale? NO!! They can't and that is where we can step in and again best charge FREE!

I do know that Perrysburg High school has started a group called "Jacket's against Bullies". We are in hopes that Tarique's Voice can possibly met with that group on a monthly basis and talk about the activities going on in the schools and help to educate and support that group.  Change it up lunches could go on in the grade schools and the list goes on and on. 

The best thing is that all this would be free of charge for the schools, we would solely be operating on fundraisers, donations from the communities and local businesses.  Tarique's Voice would never charge the schools a fee to do this. 

Tarique's Voice was created out of love and support for my son Tarique and the expriences he has had being a victim of continued bully behaviors.  As his mom I did not want to wait until he was dead to take action and because it takes a village to raise a child, I consider all those other children who are bullied in our communities our responsibility.  I would hope that our school's would take a look at the Anti-Bully Organization that was born in their backyard to continue to make a difference.

We are aiming to have our very first town hall meeting in April to help kick off Autism Awareness Month.  Details of the event to come soon, we hope to see you there.