Tarique's Voice

Tarique's Voice

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Doing you! A Reflection in What Really Matters One Bully at a Time

Over the past few month's I have been on this self-proclaimed journey of finding myself.  What is it that God has intended for me to do, am I on the right journey, should I rethink my career path, am I really making an impact on the Anti-Bullying movement? So many questions and honestly not enough time in the day or the month or even the year to answer those very questions.

As most know I am a Care Manager for a Mental Health Agency located here in Toledo which is where I live with my wonderful and supportive family.  Not all days are the brightest but that is the nature of this particular beast and I have grown to accept that.  I go to work, I plop down in my seat at my little cubicle (One day I shall have a real office LOL), and I say OK today is the day.  Change is going to happen!  Little unknown fact I actually pray in the parking lot before I even get out of my car.  Yes sir I do! While some may think that is absolutely ridiculous you just never know.  I want to be the avenue for someone to change their life.  I was just telling my daughter that with every action there is a reaction.  When we make a choice it impacts another either positively or negative.  Those choices nudge us in one direction or another rather we know this or not. Now I am not saying that I am the Dali-Llama or anything like this but a very wise woman (A.K.A. my mother) told me the night she passed away "when it is your time you want to be able to say why you deserve to be there, make change".  I have been on that mission I think well before I was even a twinkle in my mother's eye.  When I hear Casting Crown's sing the song (Thrive and the other one Broken) I am telling you this man so had me in his mind when he wrote those songs.
But......as I was saying, there are days it is hard very hard.  I have so many visions, so many desires to make change and often have no clue where to turn for support or guidance and I feel as a little lost pup just trying to figure out how to make it in that big bad world.  Then I see one of my client's or one of the other Care Managers have me speak to one of their client's who may be either a bully or a victim and I know right then and there OK suck it up buttercup time to get to work and make it happen.  I hear stories that will make your head explode with anger at the same time your heart sink with pain. 
I am from the Mountains, Good ole' Blessed All Most Heaven West Virginia....Raised in the 70's (yes I totally just dated myself) and I just hate how this world has become and how our children are so afraid to even go to school. While social connections with the internet have made lives better in so many ways it has created a whole new beast and not for the best.


Every day I must read at least 4 or more journal articles regarding the linkage of school violence and Bullying behaviors.  The increase in Mental Health for adolescence and the linkage of Bullying Behaviors.  Gangs popping up just every where, criminal behaviors in our youth the numbers are climbing, young girls turning to prostitution because they want to feel loved at the same time protected.  Kids pulling out cell phones to record the fights in school versus standing up for their fellow classmates. I mean seriously I could go on and on and trust me it doesn't get any better.
Communities and schools say their hands are tied because of funding, yet our children are killing themselves or others because of the fear and the feelings of just not being able to take it any longer.  They are not educated in where to turn, what to do for others and feeling safe enough to take those actions.  Instead they turn to either violence themselves or ending it the only way they know how.

 As a mother who has experienced this in her own home, a social worker who sees this daily it just breaks my heart but honestly I feel like David versus Goliath at times.  I will continue the fight "One Bully at a Time"  Change always happen, sometimes not at the pace we would like, but I will be there when it does.....

This face, this smile, his spirit for Forgiveness pushes me so far. When I feel like I just am getting no where I often think of how many times I could have lost him, the struggles he has been given in his life since birth. I quickly realize my pity party is ridiculous and embarrassing to even admit.  If this boy can smile and say time and time again I forgive those who have hurt me I just want to be a friend then I can continue to fight.

Change Begins With One..... "One Bully at a Time"
Much Love
Beth'a, Tarique and Hanya
www.tariques-Voice.org


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