As most know I am a Care Manager for a Mental Health Agency located here in Toledo which is where I live with my wonderful and supportive family. Not all days are the brightest but that is the nature of this particular beast and I have grown to accept that. I go to work, I plop down in my seat at my little cubicle (One day I shall have a real office LOL), and I say OK today is the day. Change is going to happen! Little unknown fact I actually pray in the parking lot before I even get out of my car. Yes sir I do! While some may think that is absolutely ridiculous you just never know. I want to be the avenue for someone to change their life. I was just telling my daughter that with every action there is a reaction. When we make a choice it impacts another either positively or negative. Those choices nudge us in one direction or another rather we know this or not. Now I am not saying that I am the Dali-Llama or anything like this but a very wise woman (A.K.A. my mother) told me the night she passed away "when it is your time you want to be able to say why you deserve to be there, make change". I have been on that mission I think well before I was even a twinkle in my mother's eye. When I hear Casting Crown's sing the song (Thrive and the other one Broken) I am telling you this man so had me in his mind when he wrote those songs.
But......as I was saying, there are days it is hard very hard. I have so many visions, so many desires to make change and often have no clue where to turn for support or guidance and I feel as a little lost pup just trying to figure out how to make it in that big bad world. Then I see one of my client's or one of the other Care Managers have me speak to one of their client's who may be either a bully or a victim and I know right then and there OK suck it up buttercup time to get to work and make it happen. I hear stories that will make your head explode with anger at the same time your heart sink with pain.
I am from the Mountains, Good ole' Blessed All Most Heaven West Virginia....Raised in the 70's (yes I totally just dated myself) and I just hate how this world has become and how our children are so afraid to even go to school. While social connections with the internet have made lives better in so many ways it has created a whole new beast and not for the best.
Communities and schools say their hands are tied because of funding, yet our children are killing themselves or others because of the fear and the feelings of just not being able to take it any longer. They are not educated in where to turn, what to do for others and feeling safe enough to take those actions. Instead they turn to either violence themselves or ending it the only way they know how.
This face, this smile, his spirit for Forgiveness pushes me so far. When I feel like I just am getting no where I often think of how many times I could have lost him, the struggles he has been given in his life since birth. I quickly realize my pity party is ridiculous and embarrassing to even admit. If this boy can smile and say time and time again I forgive those who have hurt me I just want to be a friend then I can continue to fight.
Change Begins With One..... "One Bully at a Time"
Much Love
Beth'a, Tarique and Hanya
www.tariques-Voice.org
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