Friendship comes from unexpected places

Every single day I am reminded that friendship comes from the most unexpected places at the most unexpected times.  This year has been such a blur to me at times and just when I feel like "Oh did I wake up again, I am reminded quite quickly  of the prayer I say to myself daily before I step out of my car and into work.  "God let them hear you through me, let them see you through me, let me make a difference in guiding someones life towards the right path and protect those who are wondering through life with no knowledge of what to do or where to go". 
Someone asked me the other day Beth'a why in the world do you pray every single time before you get out of your car? I work in Mental Health and sometimes to be honest it is not the most healthy nor safest place to be. But that is OK for me because that is where I am destined to be at this time in my life. I pray just in case.....you just never know.

At anyrate my point is, every day I am suprised by the people that I met and the strength that they have even though they are with totally nothing but hope in their lives.  Recently I was blessed to attend a conference in San Diego California. Without the generosity from my CEO Jennifer Moses I would never, I repeat never been able to attend that conference.  It meant so much to me to attend this conference and I was so bummed that I couldn't afford to go. Out of the blue I get an email that I was approved to go to this conference and all the details were already taken care of. Oh what a blessing I would say!  At this conference I met some amazing individuals, I was able to see sights that I would never have been able to see and I was connected with people that I would never have crossed paths with if I was not at this conference. To sum it all up the conference was life changing for me

I came home from this amazing trip and low and behold I get an email through Facebook from a young lady that I had been following her journey for awhile. I could feel her pain and cherished the way that she held her head up high and kept her daughter's memories alive. I was in awe how she was such a strong advocate for mental health, cyber bullying and suicide. My heart ached for the loss she suffered and I am brought back to the day I could have lost my son.

My point with this entire blog is that friendship blossoms in the most unexpected times in our lives. My son pulls strength from the courage this mother holds, from the loss of Amanda and from the advocacy that her mother Carol continues to march on with.  Carol and Amanda have touched so many lives and saved a ton of lives as well including my son. Shortly after my son feeling like he couldn't take it anymore he did a video just like Amanda (he had saw Amanda's and thought it was a great idea to get his point across).  Every since she has been a backbone for him and we are forever grateful.

Today, he received a wonderful and thoughtful package in the mail from Carol and he was on the moon. This woman continues to amaze me and we are so blessed to been graced with her friendship and encouragement.  I can't help but think that Amanda had a little to do with making our paths cross some way or some how!  And the blessings continue.

I say to you once and I say it often..............It starts with ONE! One friend, One smile, One hello can change a life.

Carol Todd you are this boy's Hero Young Lady

AmandaToddLegacy.org

Change Begins With One..... "One Bully at a Time"
Much Love
Beth'a, Tarique and Hanya, Khalid
www.tariques-Voice.org


#anti-bullying, #bully, #friendship, #friend, #smile, #teach, #love, #mom, #suicide, #suicideprovention, #mentalhealth, #teachers, #highschool, #juniorhigh, #meangirls, #bystander, #counselor, #forgiveness, #loving, #struggles, #autism, #autismawareness, #advocate, #advocacy, #social, #socialawareness, #socialwork, #socialworker, #thevoice, #voice, #children, #understanding, #tariques-voice, #onebullyatatime, #onevoice, #one, #computersafety, #online, #onlinesafety

It is a long and dark journey for those who suffer both Bullying behaviors and Mental Health

28% of students ages 12-18 report being bullied

It is a long and dark journey for those who suffer both from Bullying behaviors and Mental Illness.

When one ask what do I think is the most challenging issues of our time? I would have to say the safety and well-being of our children both in our schools, communities and home.  Times have changed so very much from when I was just a wee-thing growing up and it scares me to death for those young kids.  According to an article I read on the Safe Schools Health Students website, each  year millions of children and youth experience the humiliation and devastating effects of bullying.

It begins in early childhood around about the 3rd or 4th grade and continues through adolescence and beyond.  43% of teachers had reported with the National Educational Associations that bullying was a moderate or major problem at their elementary or secondary level schools.

Many who are not stopped and taught the proper ways to handle conflict go on to become work place bullies.The amount of violence and the way the bully carries out their behaviors has drastically increased and become even more dangerous than before.  The once viewed mentally of "boys will be boys" and "it is  a normal rite of passage", it is now seen as a deeply harmful and unacceptable behavior that has lasting  harmful effects and must be stopped and is 100% preventable.

Research indicates that bullying damages the physical, mental, emotional and behavioral health of it's victims.  Victims are not just the children that are the main targets for the bullies because all that are involved such as the child, the bystanders who witness and do nothing, the families involved they are all effected by the bullies actions.  It creates a climate of intense fear and disrespect for everyone involved.

The U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights can include the following:

• Lowered academic achievement and aspirations
• Increased anxiety both in and out of school
• Loss of self-esteem and confidence causing the child to be recluse 
• Depression and post-traumatic stress requiring treatment
• General deterioration in physical health because the child just doesn't care any longer
• Self-harm and suicidal thinking or developing/carrying out the suicidal plan
• Feelings of alienation in the school environment, including fear of other children
• Absenteeism from school , failing school, not participating in class with others
  
  Those children who already suffer from a mental disability have a higher chance of being bullied and should be assisted quickly and compassionately.  If a mental health organization is already involved reach out to the agency/team and coordinate care so the child can feel safe and not ashamed when speaking of what is going on both in and out of school.
  
  Change Begins With One..... "One Bully at a Time"
  Much Love
  Beth'a, Tarique and Hanya
  www.tariques-Voice.org
  
  
  #anti-bullying, #bully, #friendship, #friend, #smile, #teach, #love, #mom, #suicide, #suicideprovention, #mentalhealth, #teachers, #highschool, #juniorhigh, #meangirls, #bystander, #counselor, #forgiveness, #loving, #struggles, #autism, #autismawareness, #advocate, #advocacy, #social, #socialawareness, #socialwork, #socialworker, #thevoice, #voice, #children, #understanding, #tariques-voice, #onebullyatatime, #onevoice, #one, #computersafety, #online, #onlinesafety

With Christmas brings new devices, new worries, new responsibilites

Well it is that time of year folks and your kids are demanding the newest, the finest that you can find in computers and social media devices.

Are you ready for it? Are you up to the trend as my kids would say?  Is this the first year that you have trusted your let's say 13 year old to finally have the long awaited Face Book account? 

I would encourage you to do your research before you hand over that beautiful wrapped gift.  Without having your child fully prepared for online safety can quickly turn an amazing gift into a nightmare.  Not to scare you but I am just throwing it out there, be prepared and educate on the "Do and Don't" of online fun.

Here are some amazing online sites to keep you up to date. It is just a few but a great place to start learning.

 http://www.safekids.com/kids-rules-for-online-safety/

Keeping Kids Safe Online Tips and Guideline Resources

FBI - Parent Guide to Internet Safety


Change Begins With One..... "One Bully at a Time"
Much Love
Beth'a, Tarique and Hanya
www.tariques-Voice.org


#anti-bullying, #bully, #friendship, #friend, #smile, #teach, #love, #mom, #suicide, #suicideprovention, #mentalhealth, #teachers, #highschool, #juniorhigh, #meangirls, #bystander, #counselor, #forgiveness, #loving, #struggles, #autism, #autismawareness, #advocate, #advocacy, #social, #socialawareness, #socialwork, #socialworker, #thevoice, #voice, #children, #understanding, #tariques-voice, #onebullyatatime, #onevoice, #one, #computersafety, #online, #onlinesafety

Doing you! A Reflection in What Really Matters One Bully at a Time

Over the past few month's I have been on this self-proclaimed journey of finding myself.  What is it that God has intended for me to do, am I on the right journey, should I rethink my career path, am I really making an impact on the Anti-Bullying movement? So many questions and honestly not enough time in the day or the month or even the year to answer those very questions.

As most know I am a Care Manager for a Mental Health Agency located here in Toledo which is where I live with my wonderful and supportive family.  Not all days are the brightest but that is the nature of this particular beast and I have grown to accept that.  I go to work, I plop down in my seat at my little cubicle (One day I shall have a real office LOL), and I say OK today is the day.  Change is going to happen!  Little unknown fact I actually pray in the parking lot before I even get out of my car.  Yes sir I do! While some may think that is absolutely ridiculous you just never know.  I want to be the avenue for someone to change their life.  I was just telling my daughter that with every action there is a reaction.  When we make a choice it impacts another either positively or negative.  Those choices nudge us in one direction or another rather we know this or not. Now I am not saying that I am the Dali-Llama or anything like this but a very wise woman (A.K.A. my mother) told me the night she passed away "when it is your time you want to be able to say why you deserve to be there, make change".  I have been on that mission I think well before I was even a twinkle in my mother's eye.  When I hear Casting Crown's sing the song (Thrive and the other one Broken) I am telling you this man so had me in his mind when he wrote those songs.
But......as I was saying, there are days it is hard very hard.  I have so many visions, so many desires to make change and often have no clue where to turn for support or guidance and I feel as a little lost pup just trying to figure out how to make it in that big bad world.  Then I see one of my client's or one of the other Care Managers have me speak to one of their client's who may be either a bully or a victim and I know right then and there OK suck it up buttercup time to get to work and make it happen.  I hear stories that will make your head explode with anger at the same time your heart sink with pain. 
I am from the Mountains, Good ole' Blessed All Most Heaven West Virginia....Raised in the 70's (yes I totally just dated myself) and I just hate how this world has become and how our children are so afraid to even go to school. While social connections with the internet have made lives better in so many ways it has created a whole new beast and not for the best.

Every day I must read at least 4 or more journal articles regarding the linkage of school violence and Bullying behaviors.  The increase in Mental Health for adolescence and the linkage of Bullying Behaviors.  Gangs popping up just every where, criminal behaviors in our youth the numbers are climbing, young girls turning to prostitution because they want to feel loved at the same time protected.  Kids pulling out cell phones to record the fights in school versus standing up for their fellow classmates. I mean seriously I could go on and on and trust me it doesn't get any better.
Communities and schools say their hands are tied because of funding, yet our children are killing themselves or others because of the fear and the feelings of just not being able to take it any longer.  They are not educated in where to turn, what to do for others and feeling safe enough to take those actions.  Instead they turn to either violence themselves or ending it the only way they know how.

 As a mother who has experienced this in her own home, a social worker who sees this daily it just breaks my heart but honestly I feel like David versus Goliath at times.  I will continue the fight "One Bully at a Time"  Change always happen, sometimes not at the pace we would like, but I will be there when it does.....

This face, this smile, his spirit for Forgiveness pushes me so far. When I feel like I just am getting no where I often think of how many times I could have lost him, the struggles he has been given in his life since birth. I quickly realize my pity party is ridiculous and embarrassing to even admit.  If this boy can smile and say time and time again I forgive those who have hurt me I just want to be a friend then I can continue to fight.

Change Begins With One..... "One Bully at a Time"
Much Love
Beth'a, Tarique and Hanya
www.tariques-Voice.org


#anti-bullying, #bully, #friendship, #friend, #smile, #teach, #love, #mom, #suicide, #suicideprovention, #mentalhealth, #teachers, #highschool, #juniorhigh, #meangirls, #bystander, #counselor, #forgiveness, #loving, #struggles, #autism, #autismawareness, #advocate, #advocacy, #social, #socialawareness, #socialwork, #socialworker, #thevoice, #voice, #children, #understanding