Everyone that personally knows me, knows that I have something called RCE which is Corneal erosion. 13 year's ago I was scheduled to have a corneal transplant. I had lost vision in my left eye from a tear that had occurred 2 month's prior. I remember being rushed to the hospital that night because it felt like something had reached in an pulled my eye ball clean out of the socket. I had never felt such terrible pain as that night. The emergency room doctor had told me that it simply was a bug that had flown in through the window and hit my eye. Sounds some what legitimate at the time. However, 2 month's later it just got worse and worse. I was surrounded in complete darkness for 2 month's. After many trips to the Kellogg Eye Center there was no other choice but to replace with a donor's cornea. This terrified me to no end as the recovery time would have been at least 1 to 2 year's with no guarantee that my eye would even accept the donor's eye. The night before the surgery I remember praying before I went to bed asking God to help me to see what I am missing. I really believed at that time he took my vision because I was not seeing what he wanted me to see in life at the time. I awoke startled, screaming at my husband that someone was in the house. Needless to say no one was in the house but my dream had terrified me so. My kids laugh at me to this day because I had dreamed that something was floating out of the closet and stood at the edge of our bed. This dream was so vivid and real that I had never been so terrified in my life.
The next day we went for the surgery and shocker was there would be no surgery that day or any other day. I was in fact carrying a child. As you could only imagine my husband and I sat there without a word to utter from our mouth. I was told that year's before I could never have any other children due to a complication in my 4th pregnancy with my daughter. So as you can see we were a little bit speechless. I left the hospital that day not only carrying a new child, but still blind in the left eye. I had accepted the fact that I would never see again through that eye and realized from that day forward I must do the best I can for my new child that would be coming and I had no place in life to sit and cry over not being able to see.
I realized that there were bigger plans for me and I must accept what comes my way and trust that everything was going to work out OK. At 20 weeks we realized we were having a boy and at the same time we also heard that I was suffering from a disease that could either take my life or yet spare me yet again. We realized due to treatment's that were needed that our son would in fact be the last child we would every bare. I felt like at the time it was a cruel twist. Take my vision, give me a child and take away the ability to ever have another, yet also lay on the table the plans that I may not even make it through to see this child grow up.
I accepted yet again what was given to me and I made the best of it. As my pregnancy progressed my vision began to come back slowly. I could see more and more each day. The doctor's stated that it must have been because I was pregnant. At that point I would take anything good that was handed my way.
When my son was born he was named Tarique-Jabrielle. We chose the name Jabrielle (Gabriel) because I felt that was the message I was obviously meant to see. Throughout the year's we have been tested with many life threatening illness that I have personally suffered and came through. We also heard the heart breaking news of Tarique getting diagnosed with Autism. I thought the day we heard that how cruel yet again. You took my vision, you gave me Tarique now you take his voice and his view on the world. Ironically he is named after the messenger angel yet you take all his form of communications away from him. But did he really? I have always said that Tarique was born destined to do great things, that his life on this earth is for a purpose great and joyful. Tarique may have Autism and he has been a target of bullies for many year's but yet he continues to excel and use his voice!
He always has a smile on his face and never a bad word about another. This is a child who has been through the wringer 1 to many times, but yet he always believes that there is great in people. As his mother I sit and question why is that 1 child must suffer so. Tarique's response to me was I know of a man that has suffered way more than me and he did it for others. At the end of the day mom we must forgive.
I found this strange to come from his mouth considering he was born Muslim. How does he know so much about Jesus and the suffering he occurred for human kind?
From time to time my eye rips again and I have to go back to the surgeon to do a temporary fix. It is when this happens I sit back and evaluate my life, thinking I am going in the wrong direction and this is just a simple reminder to open my eyes.
With this being said, I tell you all this story of a time in my life so that you as well will open your eyes. The behaviors with the kids now days in school is behaviors that really don't need to happen and can be changed. We as a community must make that change. Tarique's Voice mission is to make it where every child no matter who you are can attend school without fear and feel as if they belong. Please join us in making that happen.
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