Do you ever sit back and think about when you were younger what it would be like to be a parent? The little voice inside you that wondered what it would be like to create something so wonderful, to have a little one to care for and the fact that you knew there would always be forever and ever someone to love you unconditionally no matter what?
We get so caught up in our lives and we want to grow up so fast it seems now days, it was like that oh 30 plus years ago for me as well. I couldn't wait to get out of those mountains and live in a big city. I was so desperate I even joined the military as a young mother of 3. Now that I am in my mid 40's I sit back and think what would I have done differently as a young mother? I spent so many of my teenage year's as a poor Appalachian girl longing to just have a family of my own. I was from a divorced family and I wanted to prove to myself that all families were not so dysfunctional, I wanted to break that cycle that so many Appalachian families that I personally knew back in the 70's and 80's were living.
I was always so independent, soaking up any knowledge I could get my brain wrapped around, learning new tools and tricks of the trades. I wanted to be prepared for just about anything that was heading my way. I was head strong and typical "Mountain-Irish", my flaming red hair always gave me away to be as stubborn as they come and to this day that trait holds true. I remember sitting many nights with my mom at her work at Mountain State Nursing home, way back in the day and just taken back by the conversations I would have with many of the residents. It was as if I was one of them, like my soul was just as old but literally I must have been less than 9 or 10 at the time.
When my mom passed away I became so obsessed with Ancestry.com I realized when my mom died I really knew nothing of my very internationally blended families history. I spent days, weeks, months digging and digging and linking to new family members. Learning my rich history and piecing the puzzle together of why I am driven to do the things I do in my life was becoming very clear at the click of the mouse.
Now that half my life as came and went I still can't help but wonder what I could have done differently to be a better daughter, sister, mother, wife and believer. We take actions in our life that are knee jerk and we don't think about the cycle of events that become from that,who will they affect or how it will all pan out.
Often I will hear someone say "Oh my gosh Beth'a you should write a story about your life, there is always something so interesting" I think to myself really you must live a really boring life, because I was simply trying to survive mine. But must it be that way? Must we just survive our lives and not thrive in them the way we are meant to be?
We as parents are what lay the ground work for our children. I was lucky enough to be blessed with 5 beautiful children and 4 granddaughters. Have they made the best choices in life, probably not but that is OK because we NEVER stop being their momma. From the second that pregnancy test says "GUESS WHAT IS COMING YOUR WAY" we become their protectors until the day we die. And honestly sometimes after, I swear to you my momma still makes a grand appearance some way or some how with her influences.
Times are changing people and it is getting more and more dangerous even as I write this blog. We as momma's have the power to make that difference and it starts in the home. I had another one of my workmates share with me the other day a dad stated that all this bully awareness crap was a waste of time it does no good. AND you know what he is right if we don't start at home! RESPECT AND DIGNITY this is becoming a lost art that we desperately have to teach our kids again. Just because they are grown, married and have their own children does not mean a thing! YOU ARE STILL THEIR MOMMA FOREVER AND EVER!
www.tariques-voice.org
One Bully at a Time
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