A smile takes a glipse of a second but last.....

www.Tariques-Voice.org
One Bully at a Time

You Never Stop Being a Momma

Do you ever sit back and think about when you were younger what it would be like to be a parent? The little voice inside you that wondered what it would be like to create something so wonderful, to have a little one to care for and the fact that you knew there would always be forever and ever someone to love you unconditionally no matter what?
We get so caught up in our lives and we want to grow up so fast it seems now days, it was like that oh 30 plus years ago for me as well. I couldn't wait to get out of those mountains and live in a big city. I was so desperate I even joined the military as a young mother of 3.  Now that I am in my mid 40's I sit back and think what would I have done differently as a young mother?  I spent so many of my teenage year's as a poor Appalachian girl longing to just have a family of my own. I was from a divorced family and I wanted to prove to myself that all families were not so dysfunctional, I wanted to break that cycle that so many Appalachian families that I personally knew back in the  70's and 80's were living.
I was always so independent, soaking up any knowledge I could get my brain wrapped around, learning new tools and tricks of the trades. I wanted to be prepared for just about anything that was heading my way. I was head strong and typical "Mountain-Irish", my flaming red hair always gave me away to be as stubborn as they come and to this day that trait holds true. I remember sitting many nights with my mom at her work at Mountain State Nursing home, way back in the day and just taken back by the conversations I would have with many of the residents. It was as if I was one of them, like my soul was just as old but literally I must have been less than 9 or 10 at the time.
When my mom passed away I became so obsessed with Ancestry.com I realized when my mom died I really knew nothing of my very internationally blended families history. I spent days, weeks, months digging and digging and linking to new family members. Learning my rich history and piecing the puzzle together of why I am driven to do the things I do in my life was becoming very clear at the click of the mouse.
Now that half my life as came and went I still can't help but wonder what I could have done differently to be a better daughter, sister, mother, wife and believer.  We take actions in our life that are knee jerk and we don't think about the cycle of events that become from that,who will they affect or how it will all pan out.
Often I will hear someone say "Oh my gosh Beth'a you should write a story about your life, there is always something so interesting" I think to myself really you must live a really boring life, because I was simply trying to survive mine.  But must it be that way? Must we just survive our lives and not thrive in them the way we are meant to be?
We as parents are what lay the ground work for our children. I was lucky enough to be blessed with 5 beautiful children and 4 granddaughters. Have they made the best choices in life, probably not but that is OK because we NEVER stop being their momma. From the second that pregnancy test says "GUESS WHAT IS COMING YOUR WAY" we become their protectors until the day we die. And honestly sometimes after, I swear to you my momma still makes a grand appearance some way or some how with her influences.
Times are changing people and it is getting more and more dangerous even as I write this blog. We as momma's have the power to make that difference and it starts in the home. I had another one of my workmates share with me the other day a dad stated that all this bully awareness crap was a waste of time it does no good. AND you know what he is right if we don't start at home! RESPECT AND DIGNITY this is becoming a lost art that we desperately have to teach our kids again. Just because they are grown, married and have their own children does not mean a thing! YOU ARE STILL THEIR MOMMA FOREVER AND EVER!

www.tariques-voice.org
One Bully at a Time

Anti-Bully Awareness Month - Tariques Voice.org

I love that it is the change of the season because it is always a fresh new start to make changes in your own life. I myself even with all that is on my plate often use the season change to evaluate my own life and wonder ummm should I change this or that, could I have made better choices.  Trust me in my house hold this is done on a daily basis not with the season change :)
I am super excited with the direction that Tariques-Voice is going. It might be slow but we are still reaching out there one bully at a time, plugging away and answering many questions and listening to stories that come in. As many of you know I am blessed to be a social worker in a Community Mental Health Field. While most, well wait all social workers do not become social workers to become rich we often find our richness in others ways. While this might not keep the lights on in the house or the nicest of things in our possession it is always wonderful when your hard work and dedication is starting to appear as if it is paying off.
For me I am super lucky because we have a CEO of our company that I work my " Day-JOB" is just as passionate about fighting this Bully fight as much as I am.  I am also blessed that she has allowed me to take on this passion here at work, mind you all my other work needs to be completed as well but I am really OK with this as long as I am able to work on my bully battle as well.  In November I am grateful that my work has sponsored me to attend the International Bullying Association convention that will be located in San Diego California. This is super exciting because Dan Oweus will be there teaching not to mention many other pioneers in this field. Networking is going to be crazy exciting and just picking the brains of all those who are out there in the trenches fighting the fight.  I am happy that I can go soak up not only the sun but all this goodness and bring it back to our area and really develop some nice programming and get out there and make it all happen.  So keep your ears and eyes out for Tariques-Voice because we are fast coming your way.
"ONE BULLY AT A TIME".

www.tariques-voice.org

Shout out to all those who serve our wonderful country

Over the past few days we have had a sudden urge in likes on our Tariques-Voice facebook page.  I was so excited yet could not figure out why it was much, not that I am complaining :)
I start to read all the wonderful and inspiring comments and realize that they came because of my oldest son who is a former Marine.  They always say once a Marine always a Marine this is so true.  They really came out in the masses to support this cause that we started a year ago and it has made a world of difference to not only my son but to many others that come to this page to ask for some support and guidance as well as educating themselves on how to handle issues that would arise in the schools or the communities.  There are a few kids that follow the page that have sent me private messages to tell me that they are so shocked that the Marines of all people would come out and stand up for them. My comments back were they fight for our freedom regardless of what and where we are.  All kids deserve to live, play and go to school free of fear and they believe in that as well.  That just thought that was so cool and excited to see this.
We have struggled for a year drumming up support although this is such a serious issue in our society today.  It is like America's Dirty Little Secret in part to the ignorant thought that kids will be kids and they just need to buck up. NO it is not like that, kids will not be like kids anymore times have changed.  Back in the 70-80's we did not have cops in the schools, metal detectors at the school door ways.  We had tornado and fire drills, not shooter in the building drills.  Come on folks when will we all get it.
So my rant could go on forever but I will leave it at that.  This post was supposed to be about the wonderful Marines and other Armed Services coming to the aid of Tariques-Voice and we are forever grateful.
Tarique has decided to do a video to  say thank you and encourage other kids to stand up and be the voice.  Watch for it, it's coming :)
Warmest Wishes
Beth'a, Tarique and the rest of the Tariques-Voice family
www.tariques-voice.org

Almost a year since this journey started.

The story behind Tariques-voice: http://youtu.be/3bx1A1PnOLM

The Prevalence of Bullying and the Severe Consequences

Bullying is such a severe and pervasive problem in our schools and communities now.  Times have changed and with the ease of social media at our finger tips at any second of the day the ease of being a bully has taken on a whole new meaning.

Despite the rise of bullying behaviors in schools and the attention it has gotten you would think that schools would give it more attention than it does. But the sad fact is that they don't. Even worse is the communities do not demand it.  We pay taxes, we send our children to school and think that once they are there they will be safe and receiving a wonderful education.  Schools do have a wide variety of resources at their hands to develop strategies to prevent and decrease bullying.  And the good news is that once the communities have started to rise up and demand it the school boards are putting that action into place.  They have become more open to allowing outside agencies come in and help develop programs or offer their services to the schools at either no cost or little cost. 

In order for schools to make a real advance against the fight in bullying behaviors they must be all feet in and willing to do whatever it takes.  The need to be part of a district-wide anti-bullying campaign that has the commitment of all their staff, students and their parents.  While some schools simply have a one time assembly "stating bullying is not tolerated" this is not acceptable.
There needs to be a comprehensive, multifaceted, wide-ranging program that addresses the school climate and culture.  This approach will ensure the best results and the greater chance and making sure kids are safer in their schools.
Clearly bullying is an issue that not only resides in the schools but it is in our communities, homes and work. 

Society must address this change and I leave you with this:

"If we are to reach real peace in the world, we shall have to begin with our children - Gandhi

Bullying from a Policy Perspective

Kids these days yearn for a school that they can go to and feel safe. Those type of schools are few and far between now days. I remember the days where there were not alarms on doors where you had to be buzzed into the school, you did not have to wear a name tag and certainly there were not police officers roaming the halls. But face it those days are long over.
As you send your kid to school this year and you look to address the school climate particulary in respects to bullying, it is important to review your boards policies to insure they are inline with current state and federal laws and reflect the district's zero-tolerance stance.  You might think that this information is not easily available to you as a normal parent, but it is and it is our right as parents to demand it.
Bullying and harassment is a very serious issue in schools and there has been a great amount of discussion in legislation about the subject. In Ohio there was a passage of Ohio House Bill (HB) 116, the Jessica Logan Act.  Jessica committed suicide in 2008 after relentless cyber-bullying and other harassment. So you should be aware of three (3) key policies that a board MUST adopt are:
Zero Tolerance; hazing and bullying; and Internet safety policies.
According to state law, all school boards must adopt a zero-tolerance policy.  This policy should contain a statement that "the board has "zero tolerance of violent, disruptive, harassing, intimidating, bullying or other inappropriate behavior by it's students."  Within this policy, it is important to state that students will be disciplined for failure to comply with this policy. The policy does not have to outline the specific discipline, but rather refer to the procedures in the student handbook.  The district MUST provide written information about the zero-tolerance policy to students and parents annually.
Most schools do this by putting a "Blurb" about it in the student hand book. But  let's get real here how many student's read those and honestly how many parent's of those kids get to see it in the book. I know my kid's don't show me their student hand book and I am all over them about this sort of thing.  What about the parent's who are not? 
A little less known fact:
In 2009 HB 19 added the requirement that districts are to provide continuing education instruction in grades 7 through 12 regarding dating violence prevention. This should be stated in the zero-tolerance policy and in the district's hazing and bullying policy.
So when your kids get their books look in them and check.  If that information is not in there, if your kids are not getting their educational instruction about this DEMAND it from your Educational Board.

www.tariques-voice.org